This Family of Five

Yesterday was BEAUTIFUL!  We spent most of the day enjoying the warm sunshine.  Of course when you live with a pool it just calls out your name…even when it’s only 60 degrees.  The kids were itching to get in so they got on their swimsuits and slowly made their way in.  

That is as far as little bit got.

Braeden took a more cautious approach…

And decided that was enough.

Then we come to Colby…

“I think it would feel great!  I’m doing it, I’m jumping in!”

“Ok, here I go!  I’m doing it!”

“Come on, Lexi.  Sure you don’t want to go in with me?”

“Actually, let me check the wind conditions before I jump.  I saw this once on Back to School”

“Oh wow.  That’s cold.  And she’s still taking pictures so I can’t not do it.”

“Come on, Ernie.  You know it will feel good.  Let me get you a suit.”

“Ok, doing it for real now.”

“Have you seen your dad?”

“Aaarrghhhhhh!!!!!!!!”

“Gotta just do it!”

“Mflahragdfdsdffsfggggg”

I am soooo tired of buying the same old cards at Wal-Mart for the kid. So, I browsed the good ‘ol world wide web for an idea. Sure enough, someone out there is creative! So, I totally copied this idea. If I knew how to link to a blog, I would do that. But anyway, you take a picture with your childs hand out in front of them and stick a lollipop through!  Super easy and way cute!

After staring at a desert for the last 7 years, this is my new view.  I couldn’t be more blessed!

I took these at a park down the street.  This park has changed some since I lived here.  Much nicer now.

I love being back in my hometown.  Weird thing though…I’m hardly ever thirsty but I have to pee a lot.

*Did I really just write that???*

Do you come visit the kids? Sing them lullabies when they are tossing and turning? Rub their backs? Kiss their precious eyes? Whisper sweet sayings in their slumber so that on some level they know, they feel that you are near? Those three have handled this whole situation beautifully. I can only imagine it’s because, in some way you are making it easier for all of us. I miss you. I miss the smile. Your laugh. Your hands. I stared at your hands long after you were gone, burning them in my memory. I wish I could’ve burned your touch in there too. Your smile. Your twinkling, mischievous eyes. I have been out of sorts for a couple of days. Tired. Short tempered. Tonight I cried. Then it was clear. I have been missing you. It’s been 7 whole months yesterday. 7. It still isn’t real. But feeling more real by the day.

That would be me.

I’ve been wanting to blog but haven’t had the time, then I couldn’t find my card reader, then we moved…twice, then…and then…

Get the picture??

I still can’t find my card reader but I came to the conclusion that it doesn’t mean I can’t update.
I know I don’t have a ton of readers and those that do read know all about my life already. But it’s a new year and I’m looking to change a bit!

So, where to start? First of all, we are officially TEXANS again! Whohooo! Colby got a supervisor job in Corpus so I got to move back to my hometown of Portland, Tx. It’s completely amazing how small this place is! Growing up it felt big. I thought we had this amazing big front yard and it felt like eternity to get to the other side of town. Bahahaha! My old front yard is 5 paces at the most and it takes all of 3.5 min. to get to the other side of town. In fact, I can drive Braeden AND Colby both to school and be back within 12 min. So much better than the 30 min. roundtrip in NM. I am right down the road from my lifelong friend, Lisa. It is so awesome to be back here and familiar with someone so close. It is just so comfortable and our husbands like each other and our kids…might like each other a little too much. She has always been such an amazing friend and I’m so happy we get this chance for our kids to grow up together and just be close again. I love you, Weezer!!! The kids are going to my old schools…Braeden is at East Cliff, his afternoon teacher is my old 3rd grade teacher! Colby is attending Jr. High at my old HS. It’s beyond bizarre to walk those halls again. Memories!

We bought a much smaller house than what we had in NM. It’s nice to downsize, much less cleaning! The main reason we bought it was because of the awesome huge backyard (yes, this time it’s actually big!!) and a great pool. The house needs some updating but I think that will be fun. I’ve already painted B’s room (pictures to follow, you will see why it was first priority) and have scraped the popcorn ceilings with my mother in law. Much more work to be done and I will be blogging it all!!! So be watching for it!

I have started Weight Watchers. I finally got to the point where I couldn’t just sit around and do nothing anymore. I do not like where I’m at but I am excited that I’m doing something about it! So, I’ve lost 11.8 lbs. in 3 weeks. I will also be blogging about some recipes I’ve come up with and some regulars I’m tweaking. This time I am ready for the lifestyle change and to being comfortable in shorts this summer. I can’t wait for weekends at the beach!

So, those are my main two points. Not too much for such a long absence, is it? It’s a start. We all have to start somewhere.

Sick of balloons yet???   I don’t think I will ever get tired of them.  7 years of them and they still fascinate me.  I’m a little teary knowing this is our last year to see them like this.

The aliens are among us!!!

Where to start?  I notice my last blog was March 5th.  So I will start from there.

March 6-12th- Had an amazing ski trip to Beaver Creek, Co with Ya-ya, Papao, the Evans and the Slaters.  5 glorious days of perfect winter weather and amazing snow.  Colby (little) spent 3 days in snowboarding school while Braeden did ski school.  They both did an awesome job and quickly went through the stages.  By the end they were going to the top of the mountain and doing their thing!  Colby and I did some private lessons and we had so much fun!  I had never skied before and must say I picked it up pretty easy.  Only had a couple of wipeouts.  ;)  We got to eat out at many fancy restaurants and Colby and I had made a deal to only eat things we had never tried.  That is the way to do it!!!  I had carpaccio (yummmmmo!!!), foi gras (ok, but won’t go there again) , duck (pretty good!) , bone marrow (great accent to a yummy steak!) and many too small desserts.  We (read-ME) did a lot of shopping and picked up some beautiful pieces to my wardrobe (that is laughable).  We all had a great time and are planning on making it a yearly trip.  Woot!

Returned home on the 12th and had to be in bed early to take mom to Dr. appts in the morning.  Woke up and got to mom’s at 6:30am.  Immediately, I knew something was wrong.  No lights were on.  I rushed in to find mom’s bedroom door locked and no response.  I started banging on the door and finally heard some muffling.  I ran around the house and finally found a screwdriver to get the door opened.  Mom was laying on the floor.  She had been there all night stuck in one position.   I got her to standing but she had no feeling in her right leg.  Long story short…took her to the hospital and she wound up staying for a week.  We made the decision that she could not be left alone anymore and had her move in with us.

Having mom with us was a blessing.  She spent a lot of time with the kids and every morning Lexi was in her room just chatting away.  Her strength seemed to slowly get less and less.  She would fall asleep a lot of the time with a cup of coffee in her hands and wind up spilling it all over the bed.  She continued with some radiation to get the largest tumor under control as it had grown so much it was collapsing her lung.  She took those in stride.  I wound up having to hire someone to help out a bit as driving 45 min. one way every day of the week was getting tiresome.  Mom had a couple more hospital visits but seemed to pull out of them stronger than before.

May 22nd-Last day of school for the boys!!  We all went out to Osaka to celebrate.  Mom was able to walk in on her own and enjoyed the meal.  She started asking me on that day what appointments she had and I would tell her we were done for awhile.  I noticed she was asking me like every half hour or so and didn’t remember she had already asked.  Over the next couple of days she was sleeping more.  But then it went the opposite.  She would not sleep.  She kept trying to do stuff to make herself stay awake.  She was crying all the time and coming up with stories that hadn’t happened.  It was scaring me.  Colby and I talked one night about moving her back to her house with a nursing team.  We had decided we needed to do something as she was getting more and more confused and I didn’t feel she, nor my kids, were safe.  That same night I was sitting on the couch and she came out, looked at me and asked, “Stephanie, where is Stephanie?”  I told her that I was right there.  She got mad and started screaming, “Where is my daughter?  Where is she? ”   She was thinking that Lexi was her daughter!  It was a very freaky situation and the panic in my mom was horrible to see.  She really thought her 3 year old daughter had been kidnapped and was trying to call the police on the TV remote.  I finally called her oncologist and asked what to do.  She told me to call 911.  I did and they came and took her to the hospital.  Mom never came home.  The cancer had gone to her brain and was making her delusional and paranoid.  We had to put her in in-patient hospice care while they tried to get her medication under control.  Vince had to go up there one night b/c Mom was RUNNING down the hallways saying she had been kidnapped and someone please help her!!!  It was so bizarre and very sad to see.  We got her moved to a nursing home (which we called a rehab center).  Ever since I was a small child I have had to promise my mom I would never put her in a nursing home.  This decision KILLED me.  I was very upset over it and had uncontrollable bits of crying.  But her care had surpassed my ability and I had done all I could up to that point.  Mom went downhill fast.  It all happened so fast it still doesn’t seem real.  One week she is running around with no walker and 3 weeks later she is bed bound.  She finally wasn’t as confused and we had glimpses of the Mom we knew.  Vince and I got to be with her as she passed away and it couldn’t have gone more peacefully.  It was a beautiful day, sun was shining and God was awaiting Mom.  We were singing “In the Arms of an Angel” to her and stroking her beautiful hair.  I layed down next to her and as my cheek hit hers she expelled her last breath.  Mom was finally at peace.  I miss her every second of every day and pick up the phone to call her all the time.  Mom always told me that I would feel relief when she passed and to not feel guilty about it.  But she also told me I would wish I could do it all again just to see her one more time.  She is completely right on.  I still haven’t started going through her stuff and am dreading it.  I miss you, Mom.  But am picturing you running around heaven being the little girl you never got to be.  RIP.

I know it seems like I only have one child but that’s b/c Lexi’s brothers are at school all day and playing with friends when they aren’t.  So poor Lexi gets the camera in her face all day.  I was playing around with lighting since I have a ton to learn and took her out on the front porch.  I way overexposed this picture but I played around with it some.  I like how it turned out.  Her eyes are so pretty.  And her lips.  What women pay for those lips…

My hair has been pretty long now for quite some time.  I’ve been wanting to get it cut shorter the last 4 times I’ve done my hair.  I chickened out each time though.  Not this time!  

What do you think?

I looooove, love, love watching Braeden concentrating on something.  His little tongue always makes it’s way out.  I noticed the other day while sewing that I had my tongue hanging out…guess he got it from me.  And that just makes it that much cuter.

See it trying to make it’s way out?

Success!  Now he can conquer that math problem!